You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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