I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
