should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I will be naked everywhere
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
