at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
