I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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