i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
