Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
