imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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