My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
