He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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