Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize