I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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