yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
