So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
