I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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