I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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