i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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