For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
