but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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