What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
ok first of all what the fuck
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
