At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize