THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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