It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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