I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
