youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
