I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize