They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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