So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
