i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
