so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
