at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
