Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
