Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
