Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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