Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
