well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
