it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
