this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
