she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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