ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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