Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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