New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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