I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dicks are not precious.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
