how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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