all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
