ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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