I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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