lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
