I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
