I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize