you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize