There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
