Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
