do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize