There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't deserve a penis
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
