what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
