Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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