I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
