new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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