Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
this will be a night to untag.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
