sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
