We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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